December 5, 2019

Would you apologise to your child-self?

Holly Cockburn, 24

If presented the opportunity to go back to the instance in which you stepped outside the confines of childlike thoughts and discovered a more sincere inner world, what would you say? I feel there will be hugely varying answers to this, however my own is founded in an apology. An apologetic obituary to my child-self as I began to care less about the magic and the hidden worlds I found in the everyday mundanities. Like most children, I lived by imagination; unaware that others might hold opinions of me, my voice was loud and my stories wild. And so I apologise as she is put to rest. I apologise for the years of growing anxiety, the inability to speak without irrational fear, the panic and the dark thoughts and places I spend too much time in. She never chose this future, but perhaps she knows how to find the way out. Maybe we all just grew up a little too fast.

An (Apologetic) Obituary to a Younger Self, Poetry