This painting brutally represents the questions that every creative person carries every time they pick up a brush or put it down. The ones that fester in your head, swarms and engulfs, roars and fruits, back and forth while you try to keep a constant projection of being in control. Why Am I doing this? Should I keep going? Should I stop? Is this pointless? Should I have grown out of this? Is making art actually OK for someone my age? Have I lost my chance? Am I kidding myself? At what point does creating become a persons way of life, or something to walk away from. When does the penny drop?
In a day and age where being sure and confident in your work and life feels a requirement, this is a confession of still not being sure of what to do or why your doing it, or whether to keep going or put the brushes away. Artists project surety in their work, a clear and strong message of complete confidence. Mine is a reflection of the opposite. Painting for the sake of it. Admitting we don’t really know why yet. For me, the penny is still spinning.