Sometimes I struggle to like myself and feel that I am not good enough, not attractive, intelligent, masculine enough. I’ve always had low self-esteem issues connected with my physical appearance and found it hard to fully accept myself. I’ve spent unhealthy amounts of time and energy obsessing over and focusing on my flaws. My negative self talk is often cruel, self defeating and creates feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. This has affected many aspects of life, including my relationships and employment, and left me feeling angry at myself for not being able to let go of my insecurities. I’ve also realised that no amount of validation and approval from others take away the feelings. After struggling to leave the house and having spiralling negative thoughts, I went to my GP for advice and they confirmed my suspicions that I have body dysmorphia; a mental health condition that affects many men and women, but is often unaddressed due to deep feelings of shame. This poem is about the process of changing the thoughts and feelings I have about myself, self forgiveness and honesty.