January 31, 2020

Why is it so hard to say what you really feel?

Emma Witts, 38

Being open poses challenges. As, I hope, we move towards a more liberal society that doesn’t judge and is accepting of difference we should find it easier to talk about our feelings and thoughts on issues like gender, race, sexuality, and mental health. We should be able to talk about relationships, the challenges they pose and how we manage the experiences they bring us. There are two problems with this. Firstly, that people say it’s ok to talk openly but then either find it difficult or console you with cliché. Secondly, there is an assumption that now we are more open, the experiences won’t have the same impact, you can expect forgiveness and not feel regret or shame. But difficult personal experiences can come with uncontrollable shame, regret, guilt – feelings are not rational and don’t respond to your reasoning. So, you can find yourself left holding pain that other people want you to put away. Everyone should be able to move on and face the future with hope, but some experiences will not be packed away. How do you make them something you can manage?

Whatever we lose, 2020Written word