August 17, 2019

Why do we sit and watch?

Kirsty Lawie

Tulips, 2019

My piece was written while watching a vase of tulips decaying on my desk but refusing to throw them away: I thought that if I didn’t disturb the vase the petals wouldn’t fall off and I could maintain the veneer of health. This experience ran a parallel with my fear in approaching a loved one with depression, scared to knock the vase in case the petals fell off. Of course, eventually, the only thing holding the petals in place is the spiders web itself and as the tulip becomes dependant on the web, so does the depression sufferer become dependant on the numbness.

It is easy to stand back and watch, or even ignore, as something unfolds that we are too scared to face up to: but why do we allow this to happen?

Sometimes it seems easier to watch the wallpaper peel than it is to hire a decorator or even apply some glue if it will maintain the comfort in believing nothing is wrong. But that comfort doesn’t last forever as eventually whatever it is we are avoiding will take over and it will be too late to stop it.