This short story is a satirical tale about how society is becoming ever more narcissistic, toxic and fame hungry. The idea emerged from my own increased social media use to post mundane details of my life. Week after week, my phone warned me that my screen time was rising by 10%, then 20% and more. I considered quitting it altogether, or at least certain platforms, but even that goal has eluded me. And while, at least in my opinion, I am far from becoming a social media zombie, I wondered how close we all might be to placing the pursuit of public validation above meaningful personal interaction. Recognising there is a problem is the first step in tackling addiction, and only then can we hope to open dialogue and move forward.