August 2015 changed my life. For better or for worse I had a nervous breakdown that caused my body to vault the wall of the North Bridge and onto the tarmac below. Falling twenty meters can be fatal, but I was lucky. Scraping my existence on a narrow victory of 8% and severe trauma to my femur, pelvis and humerus. Also, a tear in the aorta. Then two months in a coma and a year in hospital that changed my perspective, from being a rational, atheist, physicist confided to a physical, sensory and material world. To a new existence, where everything is ordered and chaotic simultaneously. Where it feels like everything is happening through some divine pattern. Where it feels that sharing this felt like it was the best thing to do at this moment in time. Stuff like this is not coincidental, the things that happened before my accident were caused by people. Young, and I don’t think the people who were involved were trying to cause me misery. I would also say that abusing MDMA was definitely a large factor.