July 20, 2022

Thread To The Garment

Mary Mayo

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Written/PoetryThread to the Garment, 2021

I wrote this after much time healing from a mostly emotionally abusive relationship (though, through coercion, there was sexual abuse too). This time of retrospection told me a great deal, not just of the monster I was with and the nature of his manipulations, but how – societally – I was made vulnerable. How a nurtured positive attitude, virtuous patience, and praised resilience are great and all – until someone knows how to use them against you. That they can mistreat you, but gear your clever problem solving and patience of a saint to weasel in some forgiveness and continuation. As for the medium: I’m no professional poet – but I had no other way of expressing just how I felt. It’s made up of bits of memories and bits of thoughts along the way, it needed to be fluid. To put everything into prose felt too explicit and sensible. To put it into visual art felt too vague. There is a very clear discussion and idea that I had to convey, how we’re all gaslit and praised for selflessness to a very real fault and just how surreptitiously (while in plain sight) it works.