Is this you? explores the extent to which a loved one is truly ‘themselves’ during mental illness. As a partner to someone with severe mental health issues, it is hard to know how to respond when a loved one has been ill for so long that their healthy identity is almost forgotten. The pain they cause while they are ill, through unhealthy behaviour, is very real but I struggle to know where to go with my pain and who to hold accountable. I tell myself it isn’t really them, but I also no longer know them without their illness.