PoetryIt Was Nice Weather for Dying, 2021

I really did witness a stranger die in front of me on a quiet street. All the things I did in that moment is still truly a blur. Checking his pulse, calling an ambulance, giving CPR, losing his pulse, checking again and again and losing it again. Those were all the things that everyone remembers, praises and talks about, but what stuck with me so clearly was that at the forefront of my mind the entire time was the thought it was nice weather for dying. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the air was completely still. It still sticks with me now, how disconnected my thoughts were from the situation that lay before me. But I now think that maybe that was precisely the point. Maybe that was how I got through with without breaking into a thousand little pieces. Maybe I held it together because there wasn’t a drop of rain in the air that could make me fall apart.