It is crucial to understand that the internal struggles that derive from eating disorders can be a mechanism to help seek aslyum for the body. Rape, violence, and trauma are truely difficult experiences to endure. Vicitms of abuse can feel defiled, exploited and shame with self worth and doubt. After someone is violated, the resulting loss of agency and trust in the self is profound and has life long repercussions. Control of the body in attempt to gain control over the past or traumatic event is often expressed in eating disorders. Though it can feel like control, by starving or injuring the body, it is a false control; because it is resulting from pain, fear, and self loathing. Sometimes memories never leave your bones explores how my childhood teddy bear and I trying to protect ourselves and gaining control of the body after enduring past experiences. Childhood trauma and reverting back to the safety of my childhood safety although my anorexia and eating disorder behaviours were destructive it is a source of refuge. Truthfully eating disorders can not undo the trauma, it further embeds the trauma by not deeply seeing the extreme sadness and compassion the body and traumatized.