The morning after my birthday on the 22nd of February I found out I was pregnant, that night my miscarriage began. Often we think of miscarriage as an event that provides a black and white response. Simple sadness, when the reality is, it’s a whole host of things. One of the hardest is feeling worthy of grief, I didn’t have a chance to really decide if I was ready- how do you grieve being ripped from a daydream. There is no right answer. But writing this helped me explore how complex the range of emotions and situations we, as women, find ourselves going through, in what is essentially a very universal experience. Referring to it as ‘bean’ was really difficult for me, a quick google told me it was the same size- I can’t allow myself to name the experience just yet. But that little bean left some light behind and I’m hoping, through writing, I’ll find mine again. Thank you, Teresa.