Documentary ShortNever Actually Lost, 2019

‘Never Actually Lost’ is an experimental archival documentary about my grandmother’s last year of life. Suffering from dementia, Audrey and I look at old Super8 tapes as she attempts to narrate her life. This process was challenging and changed many of my perceptions of what was important to her. I hoped to give her authorship and to empower her with a project where she was the greatest authority, despite her fading memory. After Audrey passed away, my Mother carved her gravestone. She let me film the process for the film and we talked about Audrey, her life, death and loss more generally. I asked my Mother to speak about the act of making a headstone and of memorialising someone. Together we explored how to make a memory and what there is to hold on to after somebody has gone.