May 9, 2021

‘How Do We Get Our Voice Back?’

Moa Holmgren

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I don’t know which is harder, writing about it or talking about it? I made this self-portrait because I struggled with both after loosing my father in 2011 to suicide, in an attempt to display the very real two-sidedness of emotion and loss. Grieving steals motivation for words in the most numbing way and having to accept there was never going to be any answers was and still is, beyond frustrating. Eventually, the loss becomes apart of who we are like a shadow that follows us in daylight. When I started experimenting with photography, I used to sit in front of the camera completely alone and let whatever feeling that came up, come out, which was as hard as it sounds but with every photo I felt one step closer to be able to say what needed to be said and reflect on what was going on inside, making it more graspable without having to open my mouth. Realizing that I could depict the overwhelming feelings with photography was one of the most important and healing finds in my grieving process. I had found a way to talk again. How can we help others do the same?