January 29, 2022

How Am I Supposed to Feel When Met with Someone I Once Loved?

Jonathan Walker

Out on the Train, 2022

James Joyce said ”Love is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another’s soul.” Perhaps then, there is a life in love, and a life after love. It’s natural for the latter – bounded by the scars the former left – to take the world as a cold and cynical place. But it’s just as natural for time to heal the wound, or at least master the ache. But what happens when one life crashes back into the other?

When you meet that person you once loved? It’s a sudden petrification, to be forced to see the life you lead now through the lens of what it was, and who you were. Like finding an old pair of glasses with a much weaker prescription. All of us will find love and most of us will lose it. Embittered experience will always suffer in the grinning face of innocence. But life, in one form or the other, will go on so long as it can keep alive the hope of another ocean.