Would it be surprising to consider that the outcome of our romantic relationships are decided before they even start, that we have less autonomy over our roles within relationships than we think? Relationships, romantic and otherwise are not firmly based on the here and now, as much as you might believe they are. The wounds or merits of historical relationships are like a whirlpool in our subconscious mind waiting to seep into the unseen crevices with the ability to create both chaos and calm. The subconscious scripts that help to shape our reality are primarily written by others as part of our childhood programming. Therefore, perhaps we are unwittingly merely actors who believe our role in the production differs, that we are somehow in control. Is it worth considering that if the arts of communication, negotiation and mindful relationships were to be embedded in our early years through education, romantic relationships would be consistently more nourishing and successful. We would have the capacity to identify the roles we are playing within the relationship and the knowledge to manage conflict in a positive constructive way without playing the blame game and allocating societal labels. Friend or Foe – you decide.