During an interactive museum tour, visitors learn of the unexpected death of Victorian explorer and collector Mr Evans, of how his wife lost her mind, and of how she turned her husband’s museum into a deadly trap. Written to be performed in a real museum, this immersive and interactive short play challenges spectators and readers to explore the metaphors through which we make sense of human relationships. Focusing on the way we imbue objects with value, the script tragicomically sheds light on how the language we use to talk about love, memory, and identity is informed by the way we relate to things and commodities. Blurring the boundaries between the way we measure worth in objects and what we deem important in relationships, Mrs Evans discovers at the expense of her own sanity that love and human connection can be but distorted when translated into the vocabulary of property and capitalism. In a world where everything can be made into a commodity, from time and memory to the way we understand our own feelings, this piece urges its readers and spectators to creatively imagine new ways of talking about the way we love others.