September 17, 2019

Do we need to go backwards before we can move forward?

Ruby McCann, 55

Returning to the city and country of my birth, after leaving for a quarter of a century was a tall order. Hard as it is to leave home for an unknown land and an uncertain future, coming back, for me, was even harder. From the window of a Gorbals high rise, the view of the world goes on forever. Its easy to imagine new places and spaces beyond the horizon. And, it is possible to forget, if only for a moment, how that experience can change someone. Often, I’ve been ashamed to admit defeat, I’ve struggled to reintegrate into the city and country I left behind. I have changed more than the city or country has, albeit that has changed. I’ve been mocked and embarrassed by people’s responses to the person I have become. And, also for leaving. The transition has been rocky for me. Yet, as hard as it has been to adjust, I’m staying put. To an outsider, Glasgow and Scotland can be an idyllic place, not a place where people are eager to leave. Since coming home, the stark reminder of why I left in the first place hovers. Despite this, I will never give up.

I'm still considering, 2019Poetry/Writing3 x A4 pages